[ENG] Approval and the real you

4 decembrie 2018 • Vlad Mureșan

Ego is the judging center of your mind.

It’s that „not good enough” voice of your parents and teachers, that voice that you’ve unconsciously made your own.

All you have to do is stop comparing and judging. But for that you have to become aware that you’re doing it, and that it’s hurting you.


Pain is a good reminder that you’re hurting yourself with all the labeling, comparing and judging.

It’s your opposition to what is, it’s your rejecting of reality. You are rejecting the reality of your limits – because in the mind of the ego, in order to be loved or accepted as enough, you shouldn’t have any.

But your limits define you, they ground you. They give you tools to work with.

There’s nothing to achieve but inner peace.
Peace never comes from outside. Peace comes from stopping your rejecting of the inner (of yourself) and stopping your rejecting of the outer (the world).

Just stop judging and resisting.
Have a moment.
Have a breath of fresh air, an untainted, authentic moment.

It IS good enough.
Breathe in, breathe out.

Then act.

Not from your mind, but from behind it.
Act from not knowing what to do next.
Act from not knowing who you are.
Act from not knowing who you’re supposed to be.

Just let the silent you express through your actions.

Trust your intuition for it is untainted with judging.
You will know what to do without thinking about it.

The ego is judging energy.
The real you is silent energy.

If you stop judging (after you become aware that you’re doing it) – you let the real, silent you be felt and seen.

But doesn’t letting go of my unfulfilled dreams and expectations mean I won’t improve or get any better?

Letting go of what isn’t makes room for what is.
Why do you need to „get better” as you say?
Are you „bad” now?
Who says that you are bad?
Where is that voice coming from?
Why do you believe that your present, un-improved, run-of-the-mill yourself doesn’t cut it?
Why is it not good enough?
Because OTHERS say that you are not good enough?
Do others really know better?

And if THEY ever get satisfied with you, does that mean YOU are happy?
Does happy mean pleasing others?

That is not who YOU really are.
You are the silent, quiet intuition behind your thoughts.

You are your private needs and wants that have nothing to do with pleasing others.

You’ve been duped in working for others’ expectations and goals, by taking their voices and ideas as your own.

You’ve identified with the „good” parts of you (really, the parts that your parents approved of) and rejected the „bad” parts of you (what they didn’t approve of) as not being you.
But they both are.
Wanting to be a „good” boy or girl you rejected the parts of you that they didn’t approve. That’s where your guilt comes from.

The unapologetic, impolite, inappropriate parts of you are more authentically „you” than any attempts at pleasing others.
That’s why we like being bad.
It feels more real and more authentic.
And it is.
It’s a big FUCK YOU! to approval, to the shame and the guilt that comes from other people’s judging.
It’s liberating.

But doing it for too long becomes tiresome.
It’s still not the real you.
You’re just doing the opposite of what’s expected.

If doing „good” is not you, and neither is doing „bad” – than what really IS you?

Doing YOU isn’t judging, it’s acting without labeling, from your intuitive, feeling, unthinking conscience.
This is who you really are.


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